Note to self: when a colleague's talking about how cheap Ikea's food is, don't claim "it's because it's made out of babies and cardboard."
(Everyone knows Ikea uses good quality ingredients. Only the best looking customers long dead in queues go to the mincer.)
IDgaf on 03.31.04 @ 02:40 PM GMT [link]
From Ananova.com
Rude message found on Aero bars
An investigation is underway at a Nestle factory after a rude message was found on thousands of Aero wrappers.
According to a source at the factory in York, the words "S**t bar" appeared where the Best Before date and code would normally be printed.
The company said a "misprint" had occurred, but added that none of the bars had left the factory.
A spokeswoman declined to confirm what the words were, but said the company took the matter very seriously, says the York Evening Press.
"We are investigating what took place last Friday. Until we know more details about what happened, we cannot say anything further," she said. She believed about 20 pallets of Aero bars had been affected.
The spokeswoman denied rumours the entire staff on a particular shift had been threatened with the sack unless the culprit came forward by the end of the week. "We do not go in for threats," she said.
The wrappers come to the factory on pre-printed rolls of paper, but the Best Before date and a code are printed on during the production process in York.
A union spokesman declined to comment.
I'd like to control a machine that prints sell by dates on chickens' eggs. I'd get it to write 'ouch'.
Ananova.com
Ananova's highly amusing 'Corrections' pages.
IDgaf on 03.31.04 @ 02:03 PM GMT [link]
I saw the remake of Dawn of the Dead yesterday. The film's biggest problems were a lack of claustrophobia and tension when nothing was happening.
The shopping mall the characters took refuge in seemed too big, too empty. There was rarely a feeling that the zombies were, through their presence alone, laying siege to it.
When the characters were fighting zombies there was fear. When they were preparing to go where zombies were or might be, there was suspense. When, for no apparent reason, the first shot of the opening credits showed muslims praying, there was confusion. What wasn't there? A pervading sense of doom.
Don't take my comments as overriding criticism. The film wasn't bad. It was quite good. Better than I'd imagined it would be. I just can't recommend it as essential cinema viewing. One wouldn't miss much by waiting until it's available to rent - though missing it on TV would be a mistake.
(Note: my critical judgement might have been affected by the wet boxer shorts I wore at the cinema. I must remember to make sure my washing is dry before wearing it.)
IDgaf on 03.29.04 @ 10:46 AM GMT [link]
I'm at work. I've just been to the loo. As I left my cubicle a man stepped in before the door had time to close.
Couldn't he have warmed the seat himself?
IDgaf on 03.26.04 @ 11:29 AM GMT [link]
I've recently turned 28. I've a steady job, a reasonable disposable income, am in comparatively good health and seem to have become intellectually and emotionally disengaged from life.
I'm not unhappy, depressed nor suicidal. I'm just bored. I need to find something that makes me want to get up in the morning to study, interact with or be a part of. I can't think of anything that fulfils these criteria.
Is it normal for people to feel like this? Or does it only happen around birthdays?
IDgaf on 03.22.04 @ 03:40 PM GMT [link]
If I were Mayor of London I'd introduce new laws to promote a better society. These laws would be enforced by the police, more of who would be on the beat:
Bad drivers would have a tyre on their car deflated. They might also have stickers placed on the car saying they were crap and got their licences from Weetabix packets.
Burglars would be forced to apologise and pay reparations to their victims. Also, the doors and windows to their would homes removed. They'd pay for the removal.
Tracking devices fitted to persistent thieves would be housed in large latex models of testicles, toilets or other suitably demeaning shapes.
Community service would be carried out in bad fancy dress.
Anyone caught littering would have one shoe removed and destroyed in front of them.
What laws would you introduce?
IDgaf on 03.16.04 @ 03:09 PM GMT [link]
My mobile phone has 'to do list' function. I've just been looking at the list's single entry. I don't remember making it:
Priority 1:
Porn game saying you see dildo
What on earth? Shouldn't it have been something like "buy eggs" or "ring vet about cat"? Why was it a Priority 1? That's not a default setting. Why did I do that?
What else have I done that I can't remember?
IDgaf on 03.10.04 @ 01:34 PM GMT [link]
At Holborn tube station this morning I heard a coded message was broadcast over the P.A: "Will Inspector Sands please come to the operations room.". It was a recording of a clipped English voice and was played often enough to be taken seriously.
Though I knew it was a warning, I couldn't remember what it was a warning about. Had a fire been spotted? A suspect package? Was poison gas pouring from the ventilation system?
I was in danger and had to act quickly and logically. No-one else had seemed to have noticed the warning. The station's exits would have been clear. There was one way to guarantee my safety: I walked briskly to a platform, hopped on a waiting train and got the hell outta Dodge.
Survival - it's all about timing.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-22390,00.html
IDgaf on 03.04.04 @ 01:06 PM GMT [link]
