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03/16/2004: "Cruel and unusual punishment?"

If I were Mayor of London I'd introduce new laws to promote a better society. These laws would be enforced by the police, more of who would be on the beat:

Bad drivers would have a tyre on their car deflated. They might also have stickers placed on the car saying they were crap and got their licences from Weetabix packets.

Burglars would be forced to apologise and pay reparations to their victims. Also, the doors and windows to their would homes removed. They'd pay for the removal.

Tracking devices fitted to persistent thieves would be housed in large latex models of testicles, toilets or other suitably demeaning shapes.

Community service would be carried out in bad fancy dress.

Anyone caught littering would have one shoe removed and destroyed in front of them.

What laws would you introduce?

Replies: 4 Comments

on Tuesday, March 16th, DaninVan said

It's ok, you're doing a great job; although I'd modify the 'thieves' punishment to 'inserting said door up their anus ...sideways'.

on Thursday, March 18th, DaninVan said

ANIMAULED!
Kangaroo pummels woman in kick frenzy
'He had so much hate in his eyes ... I thought I was going to die'
Posted: March 16, 2004
8:41 p.m. Eastern

© 2004 WorldNetDaily.com

"He had so much hate in his eyes."

Kangaroo like this one accused of aggravated battery (photo courtesy Spinifex Safaris)

That's what 48-year-old Sylvia Aldren said after being pummeled and flayed by a kangaroo in the Australian state of Queensland.

"I can still see his big, beady eyes, like you see in a Martian video," she told the Brisbane Courier-Mail.

Aldren, from the town of Burpengary, suffered a large puncture wound on her neck as well as claw marks all over her body from today's frenzied attack.

"My nightie was covered in blood and there are paw marks on the back of it," she told the paper. "I thought I was going to die."

She says was picking flowers in her garden before hearing a noise and suddenly feeling claws tearing into the back of her neck.

"I fell down on my front, it happened so quick, and I got up to hold the bucket out in front of me," she said.

Sylvia Aldren displays her kangaroo wounds (courtesy Brisbane Courier-Mail)

"It kicked the bucket out of my hand and I grabbed [his paw] to stop him, but he got on his tail and started kicking me – he was taller than me on his hind legs. I tried to get up four or five times but he kept kicking me over. He also bit my hand."

Family and friends reportedly watched in horror as the kangaroo repeatedly pelted Aldren in the back as she tried to escape.

The animal finally jumped away when neighbors got close.

"I always thought they were cute animals, [but] now I want them culled," Aldren said, according to the report.

Ironically, she works for attorneys who specialize in personal-injury cases.

"But what am I going to do?" Aldren asks. "Sue a kangaroo?"

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=37617

on Tuesday, March 23rd, IDgaf said

Big beady eyes like one sees in a Martian video?

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